Am I Financially Over My Ex?

There are a lot of issues you need to iron out when remarrying after an ex-spouse. With children, assets, finances, and the rest in the picture, you have a longer and probably complicated history and, as such, need to make important decisions regarding the same. This article goes into detail about 6 important topics you need to consider if you have ex and are planning on getting married.


If you or your new spouse owes taxes, it will significantly impact your collective financial future.

Laying everything bare from the start of a new relationship will help you plan your lives better together.


If you are planning to get married again after parting with your previous spouse, there are a number of financial implications that will come with it. For example, if you were receiving alimony, it may be cut off the moment you start living with your new partner.

Depending on some factors, your social security benefits may also be affected. For example, if you remarry before the age of 60, you may not be able to draw social security benefits based on your ex spouse's earnings. If you are required to pay child support, that will continue regardless of the financial status of your ex's new partner.

For example, even if your ex partners marry a spouse who is wealthier than you, you will still be required to pay child support even if they can take care of all the children comfortably without your support. However, the amount of child support you are required to give can reduce once you get other children with your current spouse.

Tax liens

If you or your new spouse owes taxes, it will significantly impact your collective financial future. If you file a joint return with the new spouse and they have accrued child or spousal support, for example, your federal income tax claim for refund will be seized. To get individual relief, you will have to file an injured spouse claim. Also, if your spouse has tax liens against properties they owned with the former spouse, you may not be able to do anything about it now that you live with them.

For example, if IRS had placed a tax lien against your home (which is a premarital property), there is nothing you can do. It is not your liability, but it will affect you if they ignore or hide from taking responsibility—if their account is levied, for example, you may have to contribute more to cover up for their family financial obligation. You need to ensure your spouse straightens up their tax issues with a previous spouse before the two of you get together.

If you are the spouse with tax issues, get on an IRS payment plan. Tax liens put your properties at risk and jeopardize your new relationship. If you allow IRS to withdraw three consecutive payments from your bank account, you stand a chance of them scrubbing off the federal tax lien from public records as you continue to pay IRs.

Estate Planning with a New Spouse

Organizing your property while still alive helps ensure that your family is able to meet their financial needs and goals even after you are gone. Considering that each of you may be having children from a previous union and you may be planning to have more in your current union, it is also the best way to ensure everyone gets what is rightfully theirs while ensuring your children's financial security. Update your beneficiaries on wills, life insurance policies, investments funds, and any other items you have.

Beneficially Status

When you marry someone, you are legally allowed to list them as beneficially on various plans. May it be retirement, financial insurance, health, or life insurance plans, your spouse will be entitled to such plans. If your spouse dies, you have the right to benefit from his or her inheritance; whether you were officially named as the beneficially or not—this is subject to the state's jurisdiction. Once you divorce your ex, you no longer have the spousal rights, and you and your new partner cannot benefit from the wealth of a diseased ex.

Shared Properties and Businesses

Married people tend to collect shared properties such as cars and houses. These are known as joint or marital properties. Both spouses are entitled to part of joint properties. For this reason, if the two divorces and one spouse dies without creating a Last Will, most jurisdictions consider the surviving spouse to have the right to claim the other portion of the inheritance. Likewise, suppose the spouses were running a business together, and after divorce, one dies without creating a Last Will. In that case, most jurisdictions consider the surviving spouse to have a claim to the other part of the business. The disadvantage of this plan is the fact that the surviving spouse may inherit all the financial debts and losses of a business, which will be a burden to the financial status of his or her new relationship.

Although most jurisdictions consider properties and businesses acquired before marriage to be separate, it's good to talk about your financial responsibilities before marriage. Discuss what each of you is entitled to and sign a prenuptial agreement if necessary. This way, you will not find yourself entangled in a financial mess from your spouse's previous relationships.

New Marriage and Disability Benefits

In most jurisdictions, marrying someone else does not affect your eligibility for SSI benefits. However, if your new spouse is working, you will be eligible for part of his or her income. If this is the case, it will either reduce or end your current SSI benefits. Additionally, you will no longer be entitled to any benefits from your previous spouse,

Financial compatibility is among the topics that are often off-limits when entering any relationship. Many couples shy away from openly discussing their finances for fear of being judged, not taking it as a serious issue, avoiding discussions regarding their decisions, and so much more. Nevertheless, this is an important discussion that you need to have with your newly found love, especially now that you are remarrying.

Your financial status from previous relationships may determine the kind of life you will have together, such as the type of home you will live in, the time you plan to retire, the kind of schools you take your children to, and so much more. Determining your financial compatibility starts with an honest conversation.

Let your partner know your financial status by providing answers to questions such as;

  • Are you helping your ex repay a loan?
  • Do you have any joint savings or properties with your ex that are yet to be settled?
  • Are you paying child support?
  • Are you dealing with other financial obligations with your former partner that may affect your current relationship?

Laying everything bare from the start of a new relationship will help you plan your lives better together, come up with a joint way of solving some issues that may be worrying you and even strengthen your relationship as a whole.